ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
