Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
