Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
