but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
