3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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