In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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