VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
