Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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