I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
