She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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