I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
