so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize