47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
