is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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