I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
