you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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