This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
pray to the hookup gods
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
