yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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