Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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