Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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