Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
