I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
