Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
