Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
