my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
