So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
