I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
