You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
