And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
