ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
