If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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