we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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