Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
