the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
