she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
