we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
