We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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