i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
