He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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