I wannas sexs uuuuu
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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