In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
