it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
