Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
