Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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