You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you win again, gameday.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
