woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize