i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
