what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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