I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
