Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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