she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
