Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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