So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
