# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
