I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
