get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
