I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
