thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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