How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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