I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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