Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize