I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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