Will you blow on my dice?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
40s are totally the cure
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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