Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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