oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
