Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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