I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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