Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
