yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
