It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
