i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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